Thursday, April 18, 2013

Stubborn/Strong-willed Child?

Ever since we've been here in Singapore, my toddler preschooler has become more stubborn than ever. It's very hard now to get her to do something. It requires coaxing, negotiation, and a loooot of patience which I must admit I don't have a lot of especially on days when I have back-to-back calls at work. To my credit, my husband tells me I've come a long way since giving birth to her.

enjoying in flight entertainment
Enjoying inflight entertainment onboard Singapore Airlines.

So I googled how one parent can actually deal with a stubborn child and found tips from Aha! Parenting.
Apparently, stubborn children are strong-willed children and that I should be grateful that I have such a child, who if parented sensitively, will grow up to become great teenagers who are (almost?) impervious to peer pressure, driven, has integrity and is self-motivated. Wow! Yes, I'd want to have a teenager like that in the future. Key phrase there is "parented sensitively".

pool time
Enjoying pool time at Hougang Village Residences. Who would have thought she used to be scared of water?

Ok, wait there... that sounds a lot like me. Except for the parented sensitively bit which would attribute to my awkward teenage years where I could not make sense why my father won't allow me to actually have a choice or say in anything. I could not argue with him on the dinner table regarding viewpoints we disagreed on without fear of an explosion and my sister kicking my legs under the dinner table to shut me up. I could not join any club in high-school, cannot finish projects overnight in anyone's house in college, and the only thing at least was that I was allowed to attend both proms in junior and senior year. My mother was so glad when I finally graduated and moved out of the house only a month after graduation. At least no more clashes between 2 stubborn (strong-willed?) people.

offering flowers
But she can be the sweetest.

So I should really take my experience in how I wanted to be treated growing up and apply it to my preschooler's upbringing. It means I have to be more patient with her, treat her with respect and empathy, provide her with choices, and not have to win all battles with her. Let's see where this approach will lead me. You can find the article here.



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